cop-puncher-666:

me when I get my paycheck

me three days later

(via bang)

yungmethuselah:

I’m calling out a baby (approx. 12–14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. I’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. Anyway, I smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. As soon as I began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when I turned back around. This happened multiple times. The baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. The baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (which is quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping.

(via blueglasscndy)

canadad:

*red hot chili peppers comes on the car radio* *car turns into a long board and i am immediately teleported to california* what the fuck

(via gothicirl)

cartooncanine:

haha that was a joke. i am pulling your legs, april fool. i will always love dogs and i will fight anyone who hurts a dog

(via fiiyaaa)

• Choir teacher: Tomorrow, we'll be figuring out if you're a tenor, bass, alto, or soprano.
• Me: im an aries

i-n-e-f-f-a-b-l-e-m-e:

blacksquares:

for my entire life i wondered why a dragonfly has an ass thats like 8 times as long as their body and tonight i finally felt compelled to investigate and as it turns out dragonflies breath thru their ass and can shoot water out of their butt hole to make them fly faster…….so…… i really did not expect that to be the answer but there it is

http://ineffable.im/

(via flying-by-night)

(via seanp0donnell)